Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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