Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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