dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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