help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
