just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
