Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
