You work out of a Hotel?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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