So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
