you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
