We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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