fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
