You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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