I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
