i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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