I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
