Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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