i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
