...so i touched it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
