I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
