the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
