He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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