I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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