Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
