I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There's always time for handjobs
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
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