my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
