I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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