no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I AM VODKA MAN
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
