I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
