if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
