is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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