i jhust puked up my retainher.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
