I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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