I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
