Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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