Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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