Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
