If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
