More tranny stories later!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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