she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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