I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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