Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
