I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Drake has all the answers
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
