Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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