Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
