it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
that's an acceptable place to lick
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
nutella sex= disaster
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
