Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
