He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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