i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
