I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize