i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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