I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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