I will die if light touches me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize