Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My vagina is officially offended.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
