She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
