right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So much rum. So many feels.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
