When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
