All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
