first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
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