Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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