Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
